I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
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