He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I can tuck mytits in my pants
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
