Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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