You're completely useless in the revolution.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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