I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
They are going to name an STD after you.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
