That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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