There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
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