Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
