so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Randomize
