I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
