if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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