You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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