The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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