just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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