I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
