im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
