I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
