i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Randomize
