my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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