I just cut my nipple shaving
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
