Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Randomize
