The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
