when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Randomize
