my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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