your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
