My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
