I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Randomize