you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Sext me about skeletons
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
