What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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