I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
