Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize