She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
