umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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