do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
