God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
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