Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
