I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
