check it out our google latitudes are spooning
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
