call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
