I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
