weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
