omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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