Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
