The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
