Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
