If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
