I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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