By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Also, beer. Big fan.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
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