That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
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