Dual....:-)
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I just gargled with NyQuil
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Randomize
