Can Purell be used as lube?
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
