Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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