We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Randomize
