so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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