i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
