So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
