College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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