i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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