Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
