its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Randomize
