i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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